Bad Ass?

I love politics.  I really do.  like a fat chick loves rocky road, I love politics.  But being born in the 80’s my first president was Reagan.  Now I’m not knocking Reagan.  I mean anyone that can take a bullet for Jodi Foster is a man in my book, but as I read more and more about presidents of the past I really think what Americans need right now is a Bad Ass President.

Andrew Jackson.  That’s right.  Andrew Jackson, now he was bad ass.  I know what you are thinking.  “Andrew Jackson our seventh President?  What did he do other than help fight the national bank and help us rid the country of the pesky inhabitants that were here way before Europeans?” (Side bar… I would never call the massacre and removal of the Native Americans “helping the country with a pesky problem” that’s why I used quotes….dick….End Side bar) and to those of you thinking that.  I say this, Andrew Jackson did all of those things but he also did something Bad Ass.  Now it is known that Andrew Jackson took part in as many as 13 duels.  I would say that just living through 13 duels is bad ass but Jackson did at least two more Bad Ass things.  One.  In a duel with Charles Dickinson (over Jackson’s wife’s honor, how bad ass is that?) Andrew Jackson stepped into the fight and waited for Dickinson to shoot first.  Seriously.  Stepped in front of a gun and let himself get shot in the ribs (All for his wife’s honor.  I’m awesome but when I get shot at I’m looking for women and children to throw at the gunman ).  Two.  After being shot in the ribs Jackson steadied his .70-caliber pistol and killed Dickinson.  Now that’s Bad Ass.  So I think we can all agree that we would vote for that.  That is change I can believe in.

So by this point I bet your thinking.  “taking a bullet to the ribs, and then killing the man that talked shit about your wife,  No one president can ever be that Bad Ass again”.  I would like to introduce you to Teddy “fuckin” Roosevelt. In 1912 Roosevelt was running for president under the new “progressive” party.  Now running for president back in 1912 is very different than running for president now.   So naturally Roosevelt traveled around the country giving speeches and meeting people.  Wait.  that’s what they do now.  Anyway, on October 14th of the before mentioned year Roosevelt was just about to give a speech in front of 9,000 or so people, 8,999 of which really liked Roosevelt.  The one that didn’t was a man named John F. Schrank.  Just as Roosevelt stood up to speak Schrank stood up and fired one shot.  The bullet struck Roosevelt’s breast pocket where it punched through Roosevelt’s speech and his glasses case, before lodging itself in the wall of his lung.  So Roosevelt did two things that make him forever a Bad Ass.  One.  After being shot Roosevelt did what you would expect.  That’s right.  He got back to his feet and said (and I quote) ” I don’t know whether you fully understand that I have been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a bull moose.”  And then he talked for 90 min.  Now most political speeches are 7 to 10 min maybe 30 to 45 if the candidate is sober.  But Roosevelt did a cold 90 minutes with a bullet in his lung.  After that the “progressive” party changed their name to the Bull Moose party.  Two.  After finishing his speech.  I’m thinking Roosevelt ended it by saying something like “That’s right Mo fos.  I just got shot in the chest by “The Man” You know they can’t keep a player down” (in this quote the part of Roosevelt was played my Big “E” Smalls) Roosevelt went to the hospital where the doctor promptly tried to remove the bullet from Roosevelt’s lung.  Roosevelt declined.  “Thanks doc. But no thanks.  I’m a certified Bad Ass” – Roosevelt.  *

I just think that if anyone of the candidates had taken a bullet in the ribs and then killed that man for his wife’s honor, or took a shot to the chest and then spoke for 90 in front of 8,999 people (I assume that Schrank only heard Roosevelt speak from the paddy wagon) I would totally feel better about who I’m voting for.  Can we get an independent Candidate from prison or something.  I think that would make it a lot easier.

AWESOME OUT!!

* Some of the quotes in this article may not be word for word.  But they are close enough.

So I got off work today with nothing to do.  Instead of doing what I normally do, I’d tell you what that is but it would destroy my “awesome” rep, I called up my good friend Wil and brother Brandon.  The general plan was to ride the Harleys, we all have 1200 customs of various years, and grab so dinner at Moe’s.  After dinner we decided to check out a movie.  Now I know what you are thinking. “3 dudes, going to dinner and a movie…..FAGS.”  And normally I’d agree with you but did I mention we were riding Harleys.  Anyway, we went and saw Eagle Eye.

I’m not going to give away the movie so if you are worried about me spoiling the movie, don’t be.  I thought it was a very good movie though.  I’m not a movie snob like Captain Vic is though.  If a movie has a half decent plot line and it helps me forget about my disappointing life, or tits, I’m into it.  Eagle eye didn’t have the tits (as it is rated PG-13), but it did have a deacent plot line.  Shia LaBeouf and Michelle Monaghan do a good job pushing the story as it unfolds, and Rosario Dawson and Billy Bob Thornton do a great job “investigating” Shia and Monaghan helping to “get to the bottom”, if you will, of the main plot line.

I will say this though.  there isn’t really much of a plot twist.  Unless you were born yesterday, or have some sort of cognitive disability, you will have no trouble annoying the shit out of the person next to you by saying things like “oh, I bet the mother fucker gets fried by them power lines” and “I bet the Hal 9000 wanna be lookin piece of shit is the one pulling the strings”.  There is also an un needed love story.  I guess hollywood thinks that if the audience doesn’t believe that the main characters and going to get it on (for the dudes) or find true love in the arms of their counterpart (for the chicks) that no one will go see the moive.  I find this some what frustrating, especally in movies that take place over a few days.  If I could find the town that these women Hollywood is basing their female leads on (the ones that give it up after a few hours or days of knowing the male lead) you would have to either drug me and carry me out of town under cover of darkness or kill me.  But despite the lack of a good plot twist, and the love story, the movie still held my attention and kept me entertained.

So if you like movies that entertain I would recommend going to check this one out.  But if you are looking for a movie to change the way you see the world and open your eyes to new experiences, I hear W. comes out in a few weeks.

Awesome Out

And a BIG P.S. (or post script from those of you who have used “P.S.” since your first love letter but never knew what it ment)  Josh Todd has a cameo in this movie (WORD UP).  If you don’t know who Josh Todd is, your obviously not as big a nerd as I am.  He is the lead singer for Buckcherry.  I’m a fan.  Stay posted to Space Tacos for a review of thier new album “Black Butterfly”.

Don't look directly into my eyes. You'll feel dirty.

I feel it is time for me to start putting just a little bit more into this blog.  Not only because Captain Vic apparently died or came down with a very bad case of Scurvy, and Lord Charles daily tacos are becoming not so daily.  I am proud to announce the creation of Awesome’s Video of the week.

The video of the week will be whatever I want it to be.  They might be funny, sad or heart warming.  They also might be hardcore porn staring none other than Mr. Awesome himself… Wait Lord Charles just let me know that I am not to post anything about our private blog “meetings”.  Oh well.  trust me you are missing out.  Enough with the gay humor.  lets get back to the weekly video.

I realize this is called “Awesome’s Video of the Week” but don’t get used to every seeing a new video every Monday.  I will post Videos as I see fit.  This may mean that I will post one every Monday, or that I I post a few one week when I find something I can’t live with out showing you.

Now, on to the show.

WE AT SPACE TACOS PROUDLY PRESENT:

Parent Teacher Conference: (this is not for those of you at work)

Someone get Vic some orange juice.  We need to get him back on this blog.

Awesome Out.